Laundry

For the past two weeks, Gav has done the laundry at our house.  There is something about it that he loves. (I have no idea what it is). He sorts it, puts it in the machine, waits on it to finish so he can move the load to the dryer, and begins again. I haven't given him any incentive to do this and I am thoroughly enjoying it.


When he sorts the laundry, there are always questions. Mostly about tan things going in with whites, and if something should go in light or dark if it has shades of both. Last weekend, we changed clothes before we went on our date night, and I had a pair of dark jeans that I dropped on the light pile (he had already washed the dark clothes). And here we go:


Him: "Those can't go with that load, right?"


Me: "Oh, it'll be fine."


Him:  "Why is it fine?"


Me: "Well..."


And then I explained how those jeans had been washed probably 30 times or more, and they weren't going to fade in the wash and ruin the load; that it would be ok this one time to throw them in with the lighter load and get them done.


As I was explaining this, I realized...I was asking him to use discernment in washing our clothes.  He's a rule follower.  He likes to know that things are always the same.  I got annoyed.  Laundry should be easy, right?  He shouldn't have to use discernment and make judgment calls about how to do laundry!


Life is all about discernment.  That's a hard thing to explain to an eight year old.  Then I get freaked out. What other teachable moments am I missing?  Are we praying enough?  Are we praying right?  Reading our Bible enough?  Is he watching me live it out in the best way possible?  Our last few months have been great ones.  As I've grown closer to the Lord, I think I've seen him grow closer too.  Wow, so no pressure there.


So I looked up this passage and showed it to him.


Deuteronomy 6:5-9
And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders.  Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.


This passage doesn't speak directly to how to be discerning, but if I can show him how to love God...take Him with us everywhere we go...talk about Him...then maybe...just maybe, he'll remember that when he has to make decisions.  

Round-robin

It's Thursday. That means staff meeting.

It's the last staff meeting before Thanksgiving. That means round-robin, everyone saying what they are thankful for.

A room full of spiritual people, who all love Jesus. Some great answers, honest and sincere.

Here is what I wanted to say:

I'm thankful for my Pastor. He is a wonderful mentor and friend. Hands down, the most long-suffering, patient, and kind man I have ever known.

I am thankful for my son. He's brilliant and innocent and compassionate and kind. I really believe he will do great things for the Kingdom.

I am thankful for our home. We have moved eight times in five years, and for the first time since we moved to Kaufman, our house is finally a home.

I am thankful for peace in my heart. It's been a long time for that one, too. To finally have peace in my life means it's not such a big deal when the copier breaks down, the postage machine needs a refill, we ran out of DVDs too soon, and the mail didn't go out so none of the Deacons got meeting reminders. All on the same day. Sometimes, life feels so filled with the noise of school and work, I am amazed that I lay down at night feeling peace, but there it is. No anxiety anymore. Just peace.

I am thankful to be able to see and hear art. Ok, this one is weird. Sometimes, music fills me up so much, I am surprised that I can't sit down at a piano and play, or sing like some of our amazing artists. But I hear it. And I see it. And I feel it draw me closer to God.

I am thankful for my friend Nikki. For the love that is so open and honest in that relationship.

I am thankful for my cousin AW. She has loved me forever, and always been so good to me.

I am thankful that this year is almost over. It has been a hard year on so many levels. 2011 is bringing obstacles, but 2010 has made me wiser, and I end this year much closer to God than when I started it.

Here is what I think I said:

"(Witty banter...joke...) um, I'm thankful for our home, and my friends in this room, and for Brent."

So, so lame.

I Don't Know The Answer

Two different people asked me last week what you say to a person who is living in darkness. Neither time I knew what to say. These two conversations involved three different people. I was in that darkness myself, just two or so months ago. And nothing my friends could say or did say made a difference, even when I knew what the truth was. By darkness, I mean knowing the truth but not being able to grasp it or apply it. I don't mean being lost or unsaved. In the context of these friendships all people are in a relationship with Christ.

So I've been thinking about this question a lot. Is there some specific thing anyone could have said to me that would have changed things? I don't think so. If there was, I am fairly certain that it was said to me at some point over the last year and a half. I have those kind of friends - who tell it to me straight up, in love, and in Jesus' name. But it never mattered. As I said, the above referenced people, myself included, all have a relationship with Christ. Throwing us into a pit and blinding us from the truth is one of the biggest tricks that Satan likes to play on us. As children of God, when we doubt His promises, His truth, His love, Satan gains a victory. As long as we are in a pit (see Get Out of that Pit by Beth Moore) Satan controls our lives. I love the pit analogy that Beth uses in this book.

Anyway, the Holy Spirit really impressed on me Friday night to pray for one of these people. (As an aside, hearing from the Holy Spririt is something I really missed while being in that
pit!). So I prayed. And I felt better. I had been searching out the "right words" to say to these people based on my own experience, and wasn't coming up with anything. It isn't by my own power that I can say the right words to others and pull them up out of a pit. But when God says pray, and you pray, it's easy to see that's where the power is.

So instead of grabbing your friend by the shoulders and shaking them, it might be better if you prayed for them instead. You could always do both, but shaking someone who isn't listening is frustrating. And there is power in prayer.

Sunday Funday

Today is Sunday.  We went to church this morning, just like we do every week.  We had a yummy roast cooking in the crock pot when we got home, making the house smell like Sundays from when I was little.  I loved coming home the house smelling like that.  After we ate, we made the couch into a bed and watched a movie.  


Now, Gavin knows I like to nap on Sunday afternoons.  He doesn't even wonder if this is going to happen. It's part of what we do.  When he asked if we could watch a movie, he wanted to know if we should do it before or after my nap.  You can judge me, but I don't feel guilty.  As I said, we made the couch into a bed, which thrilled him.  Here's the scene: the a/c is on super cold.  The ceiling fan is on.  Lights are out. Curtains drawn.  There's a blanket and pillows.  It seemed like the perfect opportunity to accomplish the movie AND the nap!  


He chose Gremlins as the movie to watch, and in between spurts of napping, what I saw had me reaching for the case to see what the movie was rated.  PG?  Really?  Are they sure?  I deemed the movie more or less harmless, but I didn't know they could say GD on the big screen in a PG movie.  


After the nap/movie, we headed outside for a water balloon fight.  Yes, just the two of us.  No, it isn't his birthday.  We were expecting rain today, but the sun was shining, so we capitalized.  After the water balloon fight (he won), we purchased selections from the ice-cream man, and then had an Easter egg hunt.  Which I guess in this case, was just an egg hunt.  At Easter, we didn't get to do the hunt, and just haven't found the time to do it since.  The only sad part was when he had to throw away all the Laffy Taffy.  He's had sealants put on his teeth in the time since Easter and Laffy Taffy isn't on the approved candy list.  Too sticky.


We had fun.  A lot of fun.  He's tentatively scheduled our next water balloon fight for tomorrow.    


So tonight I'm left wondering...how will the adventures of today translate for him when he's older?  Will it be a day that he remembers?  Will he look back and love today?  Or will it be a day he'll only remember if I tell him about it?  Will it be a good memory for him, or something that will only add to making him spoiled and insatiable when he's sixteen?  Will all he remember is that one time he hunted eggs and I made him throw away some of the candy?  


I have a friend who claims to think in colors.  Another who says they think in pictures.  Well, I think in stories.  And no matter what my circumstances are, I'm always dreaming up the happy ending to whatever story I'm in.  In this story, Gavin tells about today as an adult - maybe he uses it as a sermon illustration.  Maybe he writes about it in a book.  Maybe it's just a simple memory he shares with my grandchildren.  However the story goes, I hope Gavin remembers today, and even if he doesn't, I will.  

Things I Need To Do

I've admitted it before, but I'll do it again.  I like to make lists.  I write things down.  Thoughts, ideas, feelings, emotions...tons of stuff, and I have - at current count - six different books that I write them in.

There is one I use at work.  It mostly has work stuff in it.  Work-related tasks, ideas, reminders, etc.

There are two in my purse.  One is almost full, and one is empty.  I don't want to get caught without a place to write stuff.  These can hold sermon notes, songs and lyrics I like, shopping lists, ideas of any sort...a random thought, or feeling.

Two are in my office at home.  One is almost full of stuff I've written down over the past year.  I don't like that book.  It's a big one, and it has a lot of hurt in it.  I don't know what to do with it.  The other one is a little one that's full that I've recently taken out of my purse.  It has mostly sermon notes in it.

There's one by the side of my bed.  It's new.  It's empty.  I keep thinking I'm not going to write in that one until I have good and happy things to put into it.  I look at it a lot.  But I haven't written in it.  

I'm sitting on my couch right now, and there are so many things I need to do.  I need to mow the yard.  There are dirty dishes in the sink.  G needs to be tucked in for the night.  I need to do school work.  My car needs an oil change.  And sitting here, I know that all I'm going to do tonight is tuck G in and get back on the couch.

I'm taking the day off tomorrow.  Maybe I'll get some of those other things done then.

A Dang Good Blog

A friend told me I needed to read this:
http://donmilleris.com/2010/04/08/what-men-really-need-from-women/
He was right.  I did.  

Thirty-two

I turned 32 last month.  So far, it's not any different than 31.  I thought about my birthday a lot before it actually occurred, and I normally don't do that.  Something about this one had me thinking a lot.  What have I done?  Where am I going?  What do I want to do?  I don't have the answers to any of those questions...but I wrote some words to 32 several weeks ago...here they are:

I'm putting a lot of hope in you.  I anticipate you'll be filled with love, happiness and new adventure.  As we go through this next year, let's stay focused on Him, ok?  I must confess, I'm going to use you.  I'll use you to draw closer to God.  To grow spiritually.  To serve others.  I'm going to give stuff away.  I'm going to push you really hard to see past yourself and into the world around you - the lives and needs of others.  I expect you to not be so selfish.  I expect you to be stronger.  I expect you to love God, and love others, before yourself.  Welcome, 32.  No pressure.