The Things I Over Do

Okay, I admit it. I over do it on a few things.

On staff at the church, we talk sometimes about how we don't have to do everything, but the things that we are doing, we need to do really well. It's a good philosophy when you think about it. This way, we aren't doing everything with mediocre results.

In my personal life, it's a different story. I tend to over do it.

I over spend. I think I know how much I have to spend, and then I usually spend a little bit more than that. And I have usually overestimated what I had to spend to begin with. I love to shop!

I over laugh. What makes most people laugh makes me over laugh. Louder and longer than everyone else. And if most people find it hysterical, then I usually can't breathe or I've fallen on the floor I'm laughing so hard. I miss scenes in movies because I am laughing at something and don't hear what comes next. This one I can't control, and I don't even try to curb it anymore. I just love to laugh!

I over pack. Yep, I'm an over packer. If I'm going somewhere I like to take several outfits for each day. There's the weather to consider, and I'm also known for dropping things on the front of my shirt when I eat, so there's that factor too. You might want to dress different for the evening that during the day which of course means different shoes as well. And there has to be a bag just for hair and make-up items. I have found it's far better to over pack than under pack. (Although I have been known to use underpacking as a way to go over-shopping while over-laughing all the way).

I over communicate. Sometimes it's because I say things that should be left unsaid (engage filter) and sometimes it's because I repeat myself (if I do that it must be your fault and I think you're not listening).

I am an over-lover. Last week in staff meeting as we were dicussing our new sermon series on relationships, I thought for a while about friendships and relationships in my own life. I tend to try and be everyone's best friend but don't ever let anyone be mine. I don't trust women for the most part, and avoid getting close to people outside my circle of trust. Once I let someone in though, I tend to be very selfish. Maybe protective is a better word, but the phrase "mine, mine, mine" comes to mind. I heard a three year old say that once, and it seems very articulate for how I feel about the people I choose to let in. So I guess I'm an over-lover when it gets right down to it, which I guess is better than the alternative.

God Is Bigger Than The Boogey-man

So...I wrote this blog back at Easter. Just now getting around to posting...

What an amazing Easter. God really showed up in an amazing way today. Not that he doesn't always, but today we really had a buzz. So much so that I wasn't ready to leave even after five hours, two services and Sunday School. I had a moment where I just wanted to thank God for being so amazing and faithful and for allowing me to be a part of such an incredible team. As I was thanking Him for all His blessings, I realized some significance about today. Four years ago to the day, my life was changed - both completely and forever. During that time, and as painful as it was, I never felt alone. God was always there with me, His Holy Spirit comforting me. In the days that followed, I often felt panic, fear, anger, resentment...but I was never without Hope.

Now, four years later, that terrible day fell on Easter Sunday and I realized as I sat in church, "Hey, it's not about me." No huge revelation there, but something so much bigger than my pain happened today over 2,000 years ago. My God is bigger than death, than Hell and the grave. He is bigger than my past and my pain. The power that brought Jesus back to life from the dead is the same power that God used to reframe my life and my future. God took my brokenness and put me back together.

My life didn't end four years ago. Here I am, four years later, living in a borrowed garage apartment with my almost-seven year old. God has been faithful. I look around and know I never thought I would be here, but today, on this day, there is no where else I'd rather be.