You know that feeling you get when you check your email, and you have one in the subject line that reads, "Overdraft Protection Notice?" No? It's anxiety. Bills to pay, food and gas to buy, and payday is a week away. Stress. Worry.
What about the feeling you get when the phone rings in the middle of the night? Alarm. A bit of fear. It's never good.
What about the feeling you get when a friend whose opinion you care about says, "We need to talk?" Dread. "We need to talk" is code for "you're a big dummy and here's why."
What about the feeling you get when you say, "Where have you been?" and he starts telling you where he's really been? The room spins on that one.
What about when your friend comes into the hospital waiting room, and says, "Well, it's cancer?" Words fail you, and suddenly you understand Romans 8:26 - the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness and prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words.
Sometimes, life just stinks. We have a lot of yucky feelings, and we want to fast forward, or turn back time, or trade places or be invisible...but we can't.
I laid down tonight wondering how He felt on this night so many years ago. Fickle Jerusalem, how she loved him that day. And yet He wept over the city. Did anyone see? Did they look away, as people do when someone cries - confused and embarrassed? Certainly they didn't understand His words. Was His dear friend Peter an arms length away, and yet He felt alone?
I just climbed into bed, put the iPhone on its docking station, and felt that joy inside of not having to set the alarm. Did Jesus rest this night, so many years ago? Or did He lay awake thinking? Praying? I realize I don't know anxiety, stress, worry...loneliness...
The weight and sin of the world on His mind, and with five days to go...was He thinking of me?
Wow. Powerful thoughts.
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