The last six months of my job have been amazing. It has been difficult...at times very difficult. I like to plan out my days (ok, my week) in advance, and it seldom (ever?) happens that they go the way I've planned. I used to joke up about how inflexible I am, and would try to keep my cool when changes came. Over these past months, I can honestly say I've gotten better at this - learning to juggle and move things around without getting bent out of shape. I never know when there will be a funeral, a sudden hospital visit, a mobile meeting...God has stretched me in SO many ways this year. I have learned to wake up every morning and just pray that I can be a ministry to someone and that the fruits of the spirit will be strong in me. I take it a day at a time.
I've learned more technical stuff than I knew my brain could hold. How to run a sound board (mostly), many new software programs and apps, and more things about computers and projectors and cameras and microphones than I even knew was possible. I've learned that most of the technical/electronical things have at least three names. It's been like learning a new language. I've heard the english language is the most difficult to learn because we have so many different ways of saying the same thing. That's what this has been like. And I've learned that while I previously didn't know what I didn't know, at least now I know mostly what I don't know. Ha.
I've learned what it's like to be a woman in what is usually a man's role. It's been entertaining watching the men around me adjust and we have all learned how to communicate and work together. I have been so blessed in that everyone has been so Christ-like. While I have struggled with feeling "good enough," I have constantly been encouraged by everyone on the team, from the volunteers to the paid staff. While I do threaten to cry if they yell at me, I've never had to resort to such a tactic.
I've learned that no matter how independent I am, I can't do my job without the team. A large part of the team was already in place by the time I came along, and they are fabulous. They give of their time when they are tired and have no time to give. They encourage me, tell me to calm down, and maybe best of all, they laugh with me. There is so much laughter on our team. Occasionally, we even have to cry together when friends get bad news and we don't understand it. Slowly, I've been working on building other aspects of our team beyond the people we need every week, and that has been fun too. It seems almost every day I get to ask someone to do something, and I love watching new people get involved.
I've learned to express every idea, even when I'm scared they might be lame. I have one friend who I run everything by, just for encouragement, because they ALWAYS tell me good things about my ideas. I have another friend who loves to talk about ideas and can always put a spin on things. I have a leader who always pushes for bigger and better and tells me we can always do whatever it is that I think we can't.
I've learned how to balance the different aspects of my job.
I've learned that I love it more than I ever knew I would.
I've learned to hold my plans loosely. Both personally, and at work. "My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts," says the Lord. "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9
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