Tomorrow is the last final of the semester. I have just over a month of free time. That is to say, no school. My last semester begins on January 18. I'm super pumped on several levels. One, I love - absolutely LOVE the three classes I am taking in the spring. I'm excited about school for the first time in a long time. Two, it is (most definitely should be!) my last semester as an undergrad. It seems a stretch to say that hanging a piece of paper on the wall will actually make me a different person, but I feel like it really will. I haven't figured out exactly how I'll be different, but I think it requires a whole new wardrobe.
Anyway, here's a glimpse of my reading list for the month off:
1. Finish Engage by Nellie Searcy. (I've started calling him Nellie now. Apparently, I'll even nickname total strangers.)
2. Simply Strategic Volunteers. I have a lot of volunteers. It seems I should read a book about that.
3. The Accidental Creative.
4. Thoughts on the Creative Process.
5. Something fictional and really good.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
The One About Why I Don't Blog
Here are some reasons I haven't been blogging:
- I've been tired.
- I have a tv in my bedroom now.
- I haven't been doing my school work. Therefore, it would be wrong to blog.
- I've been putting my creative energy into other things.
- I'm lazy sometimes.
- I haven't been cleaning my house. Therefore, it wouldn't be right to blog.
- I've had too many ideas and can't decide which ones to develop.
- I've spent a lot of spare time practicing guitar. (Not sure why 3 & 6 don't apply to that one.)
Anyway...
The One About Friends. Or Drama. Or Friends and Drama.
This is an intro to a post I started back in July...
I said something stupid the other day.
Surprised?
Me either.
Talking about girls and their drama, I commented to another counselor at camp, "See? That's why I don't have any friends, right there. I hate that stuff." Girl drama. And the other counselor laughed, but then made that "Awww" sound that we make when someone says something that makes us feel sorry for them. I was really just being silly when I said it, and was emphasizing the fact that I hate it when girls do drama, but in the two weeks since, I've thought about it no less than ten times. Why would I say something like that?
I came home and the fuel pump promptly went out on my car. Two friends came to the rescue to get it to my house. Another set of friends loaned me their car for an entire week.
And here is what I want to say about it now...
I've learned a lot the last few months about friends. It takes a village to raise a child. It takes a village to do almost anything. Lately I've been saying, "it takes a village to run a ministry." I've need a lot of help recently. And the Lord has just shown me every day what it's like to have friends. Good friends. The kind you consider family. I'm not ready to unpack the last few weeks...but I've learned the value in telling my friends I love them.
"See you in the morning. I love you. We're gonna get through this."
"Love you. Mean it."
"Love you guys."
It's a weird thing to tell another grown up that you're not in a relationship with or that's isn't family that you love them. I didn't grow up that way. I don't remember ever seeing it or hearing it done. But God has put people in my life that love me, and he has knit our hearts together in such a way that I'm amazed. I'm grateful for these good people.
Anyway, I think the original point of the post back in July was that almost as soon as I said I didn't have any friends, God started showing me I do. I love the way I can be His child and He shows me truth in my life.
I said something stupid the other day.
Surprised?
Me either.
Talking about girls and their drama, I commented to another counselor at camp, "See? That's why I don't have any friends, right there. I hate that stuff." Girl drama. And the other counselor laughed, but then made that "Awww" sound that we make when someone says something that makes us feel sorry for them. I was really just being silly when I said it, and was emphasizing the fact that I hate it when girls do drama, but in the two weeks since, I've thought about it no less than ten times. Why would I say something like that?
I came home and the fuel pump promptly went out on my car. Two friends came to the rescue to get it to my house. Another set of friends loaned me their car for an entire week.
And here is what I want to say about it now...
I've learned a lot the last few months about friends. It takes a village to raise a child. It takes a village to do almost anything. Lately I've been saying, "it takes a village to run a ministry." I've need a lot of help recently. And the Lord has just shown me every day what it's like to have friends. Good friends. The kind you consider family. I'm not ready to unpack the last few weeks...but I've learned the value in telling my friends I love them.
"See you in the morning. I love you. We're gonna get through this."
"Love you. Mean it."
"Love you guys."
It's a weird thing to tell another grown up that you're not in a relationship with or that's isn't family that you love them. I didn't grow up that way. I don't remember ever seeing it or hearing it done. But God has put people in my life that love me, and he has knit our hearts together in such a way that I'm amazed. I'm grateful for these good people.
Anyway, I think the original point of the post back in July was that almost as soon as I said I didn't have any friends, God started showing me I do. I love the way I can be His child and He shows me truth in my life.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Monday, June 13, 2011
The One About June
It's June. 13th to be exact. I thought that I would be a blogging machine once I got out of school for the summer, but it's been the opposite. Turns out, I do most of my writing while I'm in class (teehee!). Anyway, it's been almost a month since I've posted anything.
I wish I had something meaningful to say....but this is mostly just an update.
VBS last week was amazing. Amazing. Record numbers of kids and salvations. Just incredible. My knee is still crying out in protest, but it was worth it.
We concluded with the usually family night at Splash Kingdom, and for the first time, I didn't have to ride or float or slide anything with Gavin. I thought I was excited about it, but when we left the park, I felt like I had missed something.
Today I spent a lot of time getting ready for the vacation that G doesn't know is coming. Dog groomed, bank, bills paid, general housekeeping items. I'm so excited.
Booked his birthday party at GWL for the end of July. It's gonna be great, and he's gonna be spoiled rotten. Wait. He's already spoiled rotten. Anyway...
That's it. Maybe more later.
I wish I had something meaningful to say....but this is mostly just an update.
VBS last week was amazing. Amazing. Record numbers of kids and salvations. Just incredible. My knee is still crying out in protest, but it was worth it.
We concluded with the usually family night at Splash Kingdom, and for the first time, I didn't have to ride or float or slide anything with Gavin. I thought I was excited about it, but when we left the park, I felt like I had missed something.
Today I spent a lot of time getting ready for the vacation that G doesn't know is coming. Dog groomed, bank, bills paid, general housekeeping items. I'm so excited.
Booked his birthday party at GWL for the end of July. It's gonna be great, and he's gonna be spoiled rotten. Wait. He's already spoiled rotten. Anyway...
That's it. Maybe more later.
Monday, May 23, 2011
The One About Breakfast
As Christians like to say, God has "perfect" timing. I usually think about God's timing as it relates to things I want in my life, and trying to be patient while I wait on Him to deliver. That's flawed, but I'm keeping it real. Growing feels gross lately.
Today I was really struck by another example of God's timing. I am on a reading plan to finish the Bible in a year. Often, I will read a passage, and get to work and find its a passage the Pastor is using in the week's sermon. Or I will hear a sermon and it will echo a new song I just heard. Or my daily reading will be directly connected to our band devotion on the same day (this has happened several times).
Or, as was the case this morning, my Bible reading plan had me in the book of John reading about Jesus washing the feet of his disciples.
(A quick aside. I love this story, and I never hear it without remembering a time when all my friends helped me move into a garage apartment. Never in my life had I experienced such an outpouring of love and service. My friends, they painted. They cleaned. They moved. They bought me stuff. They unpacked. And I felt completely undeserving. It was all I could do to keep my sunglasses on and try not to talk. And then I have this moment in the yard with my pastor. He asks if I'm ok, and I say something about how I really don't deserve all they were doing for me...and he starts with, "so there's this story in the Bible..." And he talks about Jesus washing the feet of his disciples. And how as Christians, sometimes we wash each others feet. Sometimes we do the washing. Sometimes we have to let others wash us. That was four years ago. I felt like I hardly knew those people then, but now they are my greatest friends. My family, even. I learned what it looks like to love others in Jesus' name, and I have definitely had my feet washed many times since.)
Back to this morning. I finished my daily reading and picked up another book I'm working through, Scribbling in the Sand by Michael Card. I begin, and yep. You guessed it. Servanthood, and Jesus washing the disciples feet. Mental checkmark. I'm listening. You want me to hear something about servanthood. Got it.
There was a beautiful dramatization of Jesus with the basin and the towel. I read through it, then went back and read it again out loud (I was being artsy and dramatic, but it helped me connect with the story).
As I continued reading in the book, Card goes on discussing the many ways Jesus served his disciples, and concludes with John 21, and a section titled "The Lord of All Serves Breakfast."
Post resurrection, Peter, Thomas and others are out fishing...they caught nothing...ummhmm, reading...throw your nets over...ummhmm...reading, reading...lots of fish this time..."Now come and have some breakfast!"
Wait. What? I always thought of this story as Jesus appearing to the disciples, performing another miracle with the fish...and that whole, "feed my sheep" thing with Peter there at the end. I had to pull the Bible back out and read through the passage. I have completely missed Peter literally clamoring out of the boat and splashing to the shore when he realizes Jesus is there. And that when he gets there, Jesus has prepared them breakfast. John 21:9 When they got there, they found breakfast waiting for them - fish cooking over a charcoal fire, and some bread. Verse 13 - Then Jesus served them the bread and the fish.
The disciples are tired and hungry. Discouraged. Brokenhearted. And Jesus is there, making them breakfast. You know that feeling you get when something good is coming true? Relief and wonder and bliss and joy? I understand Peter stumbling, crashing through the water to get to Jesus. He must have been overwhelmed with those emotions.
Today I was really struck by another example of God's timing. I am on a reading plan to finish the Bible in a year. Often, I will read a passage, and get to work and find its a passage the Pastor is using in the week's sermon. Or I will hear a sermon and it will echo a new song I just heard. Or my daily reading will be directly connected to our band devotion on the same day (this has happened several times).
Or, as was the case this morning, my Bible reading plan had me in the book of John reading about Jesus washing the feet of his disciples.
(A quick aside. I love this story, and I never hear it without remembering a time when all my friends helped me move into a garage apartment. Never in my life had I experienced such an outpouring of love and service. My friends, they painted. They cleaned. They moved. They bought me stuff. They unpacked. And I felt completely undeserving. It was all I could do to keep my sunglasses on and try not to talk. And then I have this moment in the yard with my pastor. He asks if I'm ok, and I say something about how I really don't deserve all they were doing for me...and he starts with, "so there's this story in the Bible..." And he talks about Jesus washing the feet of his disciples. And how as Christians, sometimes we wash each others feet. Sometimes we do the washing. Sometimes we have to let others wash us. That was four years ago. I felt like I hardly knew those people then, but now they are my greatest friends. My family, even. I learned what it looks like to love others in Jesus' name, and I have definitely had my feet washed many times since.)
Back to this morning. I finished my daily reading and picked up another book I'm working through, Scribbling in the Sand by Michael Card. I begin, and yep. You guessed it. Servanthood, and Jesus washing the disciples feet. Mental checkmark. I'm listening. You want me to hear something about servanthood. Got it.
There was a beautiful dramatization of Jesus with the basin and the towel. I read through it, then went back and read it again out loud (I was being artsy and dramatic, but it helped me connect with the story).
As I continued reading in the book, Card goes on discussing the many ways Jesus served his disciples, and concludes with John 21, and a section titled "The Lord of All Serves Breakfast."
Post resurrection, Peter, Thomas and others are out fishing...they caught nothing...ummhmm, reading...throw your nets over...ummhmm...reading, reading...lots of fish this time..."Now come and have some breakfast!"
Wait. What? I always thought of this story as Jesus appearing to the disciples, performing another miracle with the fish...and that whole, "feed my sheep" thing with Peter there at the end. I had to pull the Bible back out and read through the passage. I have completely missed Peter literally clamoring out of the boat and splashing to the shore when he realizes Jesus is there. And that when he gets there, Jesus has prepared them breakfast. John 21:9 When they got there, they found breakfast waiting for them - fish cooking over a charcoal fire, and some bread. Verse 13 - Then Jesus served them the bread and the fish.
The disciples are tired and hungry. Discouraged. Brokenhearted. And Jesus is there, making them breakfast. You know that feeling you get when something good is coming true? Relief and wonder and bliss and joy? I understand Peter stumbling, crashing through the water to get to Jesus. He must have been overwhelmed with those emotions.
"Though Jesus is the risen Lord of Glory, though he stands there with scars in his hands and feet and sides, he is there to fix breakfast. He knows that they've been out all night, they haven't caught anything and they are hungry. And so he is there, their Servant Savior. He feeds them when they are hungry. He washes their dirty feet when they are tired. It is the shape of his life."What a beautiful, servant-hearted Jesus.
Monday, May 9, 2011
The One About Mother's Day
I have days where I think I'm navigating this single mom thing pretty well. I'll think I've taken care of everything. That everything is cleaned up, paid up, washed up, put up and so on...and it's usually then that I realize - it's him, not me. God has given me a great kid. He makes me look good.
Our MD was spent napping (me), playing video games (him), riding bikes (us and the W's) and sticking close to home. His idea of a perfect day. I would have thrown in some shopping, but hey - it's not like it was my birthday. MD is a close cousin to Valentine's Day in my book, but I still like it.
G got a cell phone last week. He was so excited. It is his reward for passing the TAKS test, although officially the grades haven't come in yet. He was with his dad on Saturday, and he sent me a text at 6:57am, "You up yet?" Man, I love that kid.
Here's my MD gifts:
Our MD was spent napping (me), playing video games (him), riding bikes (us and the W's) and sticking close to home. His idea of a perfect day. I would have thrown in some shopping, but hey - it's not like it was my birthday. MD is a close cousin to Valentine's Day in my book, but I still like it.
G got a cell phone last week. He was so excited. It is his reward for passing the TAKS test, although officially the grades haven't come in yet. He was with his dad on Saturday, and he sent me a text at 6:57am, "You up yet?" Man, I love that kid.
Here's my MD gifts:
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
The One About An Update
Today was a good day. I mean, really good. I got the worship planning done, went to Dallas, did a lot of mobile working, got arrested for Kaufman County Crime Stoppers, got some more work done, got G$'s "I passed the TAKS test" cell phone ordered, made dinner, and now I'm in bed about to write a paper.
The a/c is going (gone) out in my car. I'm praying it only needs freon. Pity party.
I plunged G's toilet tonight for 20 minutes. 20. Pity party.
The good news is, once I write my paper, the only thing left for the semester is to take a final on Thursday. I'll be off all summer from school. Almost four months. I am beside myself with giddiness. Here's what our summer looks like:
1. VBS, first week of June.
2. WDW, third week of June.
3. Kids Camp, first week of July
4. G$'s bday, last week of July - GWL
G is getting a Kindle for his bday, and I am SO excited to give it to him. I'm getting it early, so he can take it on our trip to WDW. A very generous friend gave me a gift card to GWL, and that's how we're making that happen in July.
I'm really excited. It looks like we're going to have a lot of fun. I hope there's not too much planned. I'm off on Mondays, and next Monday is my first one where I don't have class. I have three Mondays all to myself before G is out for the summer. I feel a little selfish, because I'm excited about those days. I might just shop, go to movies, sleep, eat out...or maybe just stare at the wall. But I'm excited.
I'm enrolled for two classes in the fall. Statistics (have to have a math to graduate) and an Anthropology course - Society & Culture in Europe (that one just fit my schedule). The stats class is on Wednesday nights, which means giving up acting in Kidstuf for a semester. That's tough, because I love Kidstuf - but I have to have this class, and its the first time a math has been offered in the evening. Its also going to be difficult to balance work, because the band rehearses on Wednesday nights. So moving rehearsal to another night so I can be there kinda stinks for them.
Thanks for the comments on The One About OBL. The convo with G went well. I had to back up all the way to 9/11/2001, but he gets it now. He's so tender-hearted...tonight he asked me to come in while he took a bath and tell him some more about it (he likes to hear the same things over and over) - but that's when I saw the toilet was clogged. So we didn't talk anymore about it tonight.
I have a reading list for the summer...what should be on it? Right now, all the books are ministry/work related.
And finally, a random thing I heard someone say to my Pastor today..."I know a lot about men's drawers." A few questions. Who calls them "drawers"? And is knowing a lot about them something to brag about? Is there really that much to know about - ahem - drawers? How does one come by this information? Of course, he took the comment unflinching, which made it all the more hysterical for me.
The a/c is going (gone) out in my car. I'm praying it only needs freon. Pity party.
I plunged G's toilet tonight for 20 minutes. 20. Pity party.
The good news is, once I write my paper, the only thing left for the semester is to take a final on Thursday. I'll be off all summer from school. Almost four months. I am beside myself with giddiness. Here's what our summer looks like:
1. VBS, first week of June.
2. WDW, third week of June.
3. Kids Camp, first week of July
4. G$'s bday, last week of July - GWL
G is getting a Kindle for his bday, and I am SO excited to give it to him. I'm getting it early, so he can take it on our trip to WDW. A very generous friend gave me a gift card to GWL, and that's how we're making that happen in July.
I'm really excited. It looks like we're going to have a lot of fun. I hope there's not too much planned. I'm off on Mondays, and next Monday is my first one where I don't have class. I have three Mondays all to myself before G is out for the summer. I feel a little selfish, because I'm excited about those days. I might just shop, go to movies, sleep, eat out...or maybe just stare at the wall. But I'm excited.
I'm enrolled for two classes in the fall. Statistics (have to have a math to graduate) and an Anthropology course - Society & Culture in Europe (that one just fit my schedule). The stats class is on Wednesday nights, which means giving up acting in Kidstuf for a semester. That's tough, because I love Kidstuf - but I have to have this class, and its the first time a math has been offered in the evening. Its also going to be difficult to balance work, because the band rehearses on Wednesday nights. So moving rehearsal to another night so I can be there kinda stinks for them.
Thanks for the comments on The One About OBL. The convo with G went well. I had to back up all the way to 9/11/2001, but he gets it now. He's so tender-hearted...tonight he asked me to come in while he took a bath and tell him some more about it (he likes to hear the same things over and over) - but that's when I saw the toilet was clogged. So we didn't talk anymore about it tonight.
I have a reading list for the summer...what should be on it? Right now, all the books are ministry/work related.
And finally, a random thing I heard someone say to my Pastor today..."I know a lot about men's drawers." A few questions. Who calls them "drawers"? And is knowing a lot about them something to brag about? Is there really that much to know about - ahem - drawers? How does one come by this information? Of course, he took the comment unflinching, which made it all the more hysterical for me.
Monday, May 2, 2011
The One About OBL
Can I just be honest? Last night as I sat watching Celebrity Apprentice, I was completely aggravated when a bar started running across the bottom of the screen that the President was going to interrupt programming. Someone was about to get "fired" and I didn't want to wait to find out who.
I don't watch the news (or really much tv at all) so it's a wonder I didn't turn the tv off and go to bed. I was going to watch CA up to the point that the Pres came on.
When they finally interrupted and broke the news about the death of OBL, I just sat there. It's kind of a big deal, and I didn't really know what to do. I immediately thought of Gav and how to explain it all to him. I didn't feel excited, I actually shook a little. I started wondering what my friends and family were thinking. It was late, so I just prayed and went to bed.
Today, I explained to my son for the second time what a terrorist is. I watched him watching the news and as they showed different headlines from different papers, I watched his eyebrows shoot up, and he gasped when he read, "Rot In Hell." I was a little surprised myself. I had to tell him we could unpack that tonight when we get home, but that as Christians, we do not wish an eternity in Hell on anyone. I have no idea how to navigate this.
I don't watch the news (or really much tv at all) so it's a wonder I didn't turn the tv off and go to bed. I was going to watch CA up to the point that the Pres came on.
When they finally interrupted and broke the news about the death of OBL, I just sat there. It's kind of a big deal, and I didn't really know what to do. I immediately thought of Gav and how to explain it all to him. I didn't feel excited, I actually shook a little. I started wondering what my friends and family were thinking. It was late, so I just prayed and went to bed.
Today, I explained to my son for the second time what a terrorist is. I watched him watching the news and as they showed different headlines from different papers, I watched his eyebrows shoot up, and he gasped when he read, "Rot In Hell." I was a little surprised myself. I had to tell him we could unpack that tonight when we get home, but that as Christians, we do not wish an eternity in Hell on anyone. I have no idea how to navigate this.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
The One About All the Things I Needed to Blog
I have wanted to blog all week. Every night I laid down in bed with words and phrases floating around in my brain, and I didn't get up and write them down. I should have, because most of them are forever gone. Here's what they might have looked like:
Monday - The One About How I Should Write My Term Paper - because now it's almost Easter Sunday and that paper is due (10 pages) on April 25. It's not even started. Well, that's not entirely true. I did save a template and give it a title.
Tuesday - The One About Getting Ready for Tenebrae
Wednesday - The One About Tenebrae and Wednesday - What a beautiful service. It's my second favorite service of the year, and it feels so special. I love Holy Week, and how we draw so much closer to the passion of Christ during this time. The service went well.
I was talking to my friend Aaron about this day in Jesus' life. Wednesday, the day before the Last Supper. What was Jesus doing on this day? The Gospels don't tell us, and Aaron said some scholars think Jesus was in hiding because of what had happened in the temple on Monday and Tuesday. I want to know. Where was he? What was he doing? Who was he with?
Thursday - The One About Still Thinking About Blogging and What Jesus Was Doing on Wednesday
Friday - The One About Good Friday - The office is closed on Good Friday, but several of us were there getting ready for Easter. I was satisfied with how we concluded the week, all we got done, and what Easter Sunday looks like. Nervous. Excited. Grumpy. Anxious. Nervous.
Gavin had a baseball game. Love watching him play ball.
Saturday - The One About Saturday - We had band rehearsal this morning, then I went through the sermon several times with the Pastor. Nap. Service at Lake Pointe. Dinner. Shopping. Now sitting up when I should be sleeping.
Thoughts about tomorrow - it will go well. The team will all give their best. We will celebrate the victory of Jesus over death and the grave! I already feel so thankful.
Monday - The One About How I Should Write My Term Paper - because now it's almost Easter Sunday and that paper is due (10 pages) on April 25. It's not even started. Well, that's not entirely true. I did save a template and give it a title.
Tuesday - The One About Getting Ready for Tenebrae
Wednesday - The One About Tenebrae and Wednesday - What a beautiful service. It's my second favorite service of the year, and it feels so special. I love Holy Week, and how we draw so much closer to the passion of Christ during this time. The service went well.
I was talking to my friend Aaron about this day in Jesus' life. Wednesday, the day before the Last Supper. What was Jesus doing on this day? The Gospels don't tell us, and Aaron said some scholars think Jesus was in hiding because of what had happened in the temple on Monday and Tuesday. I want to know. Where was he? What was he doing? Who was he with?
Thursday - The One About Still Thinking About Blogging and What Jesus Was Doing on Wednesday
Friday - The One About Good Friday - The office is closed on Good Friday, but several of us were there getting ready for Easter. I was satisfied with how we concluded the week, all we got done, and what Easter Sunday looks like. Nervous. Excited. Grumpy. Anxious. Nervous.
Gavin had a baseball game. Love watching him play ball.
Saturday - The One About Saturday - We had band rehearsal this morning, then I went through the sermon several times with the Pastor. Nap. Service at Lake Pointe. Dinner. Shopping. Now sitting up when I should be sleeping.
Thoughts about tomorrow - it will go well. The team will all give their best. We will celebrate the victory of Jesus over death and the grave! I already feel so thankful.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
The One About Palm Sunday
You know that feeling you get when you check your email, and you have one in the subject line that reads, "Overdraft Protection Notice?" No? It's anxiety. Bills to pay, food and gas to buy, and payday is a week away. Stress. Worry.
What about the feeling you get when the phone rings in the middle of the night? Alarm. A bit of fear. It's never good.
What about the feeling you get when a friend whose opinion you care about says, "We need to talk?" Dread. "We need to talk" is code for "you're a big dummy and here's why."
What about the feeling you get when you say, "Where have you been?" and he starts telling you where he's really been? The room spins on that one.
What about when your friend comes into the hospital waiting room, and says, "Well, it's cancer?" Words fail you, and suddenly you understand Romans 8:26 - the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness and prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words.
Sometimes, life just stinks. We have a lot of yucky feelings, and we want to fast forward, or turn back time, or trade places or be invisible...but we can't.
I laid down tonight wondering how He felt on this night so many years ago. Fickle Jerusalem, how she loved him that day. And yet He wept over the city. Did anyone see? Did they look away, as people do when someone cries - confused and embarrassed? Certainly they didn't understand His words. Was His dear friend Peter an arms length away, and yet He felt alone?
I just climbed into bed, put the iPhone on its docking station, and felt that joy inside of not having to set the alarm. Did Jesus rest this night, so many years ago? Or did He lay awake thinking? Praying? I realize I don't know anxiety, stress, worry...loneliness...
The weight and sin of the world on His mind, and with five days to go...was He thinking of me?
What about the feeling you get when the phone rings in the middle of the night? Alarm. A bit of fear. It's never good.
What about the feeling you get when a friend whose opinion you care about says, "We need to talk?" Dread. "We need to talk" is code for "you're a big dummy and here's why."
What about the feeling you get when you say, "Where have you been?" and he starts telling you where he's really been? The room spins on that one.
What about when your friend comes into the hospital waiting room, and says, "Well, it's cancer?" Words fail you, and suddenly you understand Romans 8:26 - the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness and prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words.
Sometimes, life just stinks. We have a lot of yucky feelings, and we want to fast forward, or turn back time, or trade places or be invisible...but we can't.
I laid down tonight wondering how He felt on this night so many years ago. Fickle Jerusalem, how she loved him that day. And yet He wept over the city. Did anyone see? Did they look away, as people do when someone cries - confused and embarrassed? Certainly they didn't understand His words. Was His dear friend Peter an arms length away, and yet He felt alone?
I just climbed into bed, put the iPhone on its docking station, and felt that joy inside of not having to set the alarm. Did Jesus rest this night, so many years ago? Or did He lay awake thinking? Praying? I realize I don't know anxiety, stress, worry...loneliness...
The weight and sin of the world on His mind, and with five days to go...was He thinking of me?
Monday, April 11, 2011
The One About Friends
ST - here you go!
I have a friend in my life who is fighting really hard for me to trust people and make myself vulnerable. He's using words like, "trust" and "vulnerable."
For the first time I'm looking at people differently. I say up to this point I've been a poor judge of character. My cousin says I take people at face value and that I need to have a stronger constitution of the people I let into my heart. Admittedly, I do not know how to do this. I am an all-or-nothing kind of girl and currently I am at "nothing" on making new friends. I don't want to trust anyone, let anyone in or give anyone the benefit of the doubt. To be honest, it's not because I'm angry or bitter...it's because I'm tired. I'm tired of starting over only to be reminded that people change (or they don't change) and that even the "good" ones let you down.
This creates a problem, because I know this is not my nature - it's not the way God specifically and uniquely created ME to be - and also because it's not the design He has for us in general regarding community.
I'm an extrovert. I like people. I like to laugh and talk and do stuff. But lately I find myself doing things alone, and it's never crossed my mind to invite someone. Or I find myself thinking, "when G is home, we should do this or that." Several weeks ago I found myself on the way to volunteer at a conference, and it struck me as I was driving down I-20 - "what in the world? I don't know a single person out here!" Meeting and talking to people wasn't a problem, but I definitely found myself thinking it would have been more fun if I'd brought a buddy. Anyway, I think the reason that I'm writing this is because I'm liking this aloneness sort of, because it feels so safe - and that feels wrong. Confusing.
Praying for healing. In my heart and in relationships.
I have a friend in my life who is fighting really hard for me to trust people and make myself vulnerable. He's using words like, "trust" and "vulnerable."
For the first time I'm looking at people differently. I say up to this point I've been a poor judge of character. My cousin says I take people at face value and that I need to have a stronger constitution of the people I let into my heart. Admittedly, I do not know how to do this. I am an all-or-nothing kind of girl and currently I am at "nothing" on making new friends. I don't want to trust anyone, let anyone in or give anyone the benefit of the doubt. To be honest, it's not because I'm angry or bitter...it's because I'm tired. I'm tired of starting over only to be reminded that people change (or they don't change) and that even the "good" ones let you down.
This creates a problem, because I know this is not my nature - it's not the way God specifically and uniquely created ME to be - and also because it's not the design He has for us in general regarding community.
I'm an extrovert. I like people. I like to laugh and talk and do stuff. But lately I find myself doing things alone, and it's never crossed my mind to invite someone. Or I find myself thinking, "when G is home, we should do this or that." Several weeks ago I found myself on the way to volunteer at a conference, and it struck me as I was driving down I-20 - "what in the world? I don't know a single person out here!" Meeting and talking to people wasn't a problem, but I definitely found myself thinking it would have been more fun if I'd brought a buddy. Anyway, I think the reason that I'm writing this is because I'm liking this aloneness sort of, because it feels so safe - and that feels wrong. Confusing.
Praying for healing. In my heart and in relationships.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
The One About Passion
Easter is three weeks from today. I can't sleep.
I also can't breathe. I spent Thursday and Friday in The Fort Worth volunteering at the Passion Conference. I wish there was one pic that I could upload that would say it all, but there's just not. I took a ton of photos, and I don't even know where to start. I got a lot of creative ideas, met a lot of people, and was able to be a part of something huge.
Thursday was the last day of load in. Myself and about 30 other people put together welcome packets for the 9,500 participants...I spent the night with a friend I hadn't seen in months, and we had a great time catching up.
Friday I was on the directional touch team, and spent most of the day standing outside, directing people where to go. The wind blew in my face all day, and evidently I'm allergic to that. Saw David Crowder for the...um...fifth time...
I woke up Saturday and...went back to sleep. Came home early and slept most of the day in bed. Allergies stink.
Gav and I rented Tangled and enjoyed watching that while eating ice cream.
Monday, March 28, 2011
The One About the Truth
There's a funny thing about the truth. You either love it or you hate it. Sometimes both. In my own life, it's never been the truth so much that was horrific, as have been the lies that have kept it hidden. I love truth, but I do believe that because we are sinful we can't always tell the truth all the time. I wish someone would persuade me otherwise.
There have been times I have wanted to lie, but told the truth instead. Sometimes telling the truth costs you things. Sometimes you lose things because of it. But I've never wished I hadn't told (or that someone hadn't told me) the truth.
I'm thinking about it mostly because Easter is approaching and more than just planning, organizing and creating, I'm trying to keep my focus on all the things Good Friday and Easter Sunday are really about. It's not about a spectacle of performance, stage design, songs, sermons or any of that. Jesus said, "I am the way, the TRUTH, and the life." I love knowing that everything He says is good and true. Even when I'm wretched, hate the truth of who I am and have a propensity to sometimes ignore the truth when I hear it, I am loved by God who is faithful and true. Always loved by Him.
There have been times I have wanted to lie, but told the truth instead. Sometimes telling the truth costs you things. Sometimes you lose things because of it. But I've never wished I hadn't told (or that someone hadn't told me) the truth.
I'm thinking about it mostly because Easter is approaching and more than just planning, organizing and creating, I'm trying to keep my focus on all the things Good Friday and Easter Sunday are really about. It's not about a spectacle of performance, stage design, songs, sermons or any of that. Jesus said, "I am the way, the TRUTH, and the life." I love knowing that everything He says is good and true. Even when I'm wretched, hate the truth of who I am and have a propensity to sometimes ignore the truth when I hear it, I am loved by God who is faithful and true. Always loved by Him.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
The One About the Weekend
Five things I did this weekend.
1. Bought Easter shoes.
2. Had dinner with a friend. Twice. Two different friends.
3. Slept 12 hours Saturday night.
4. Discovered a yummy new summer drink at Starbucks.
5. Rested on Sabbath.
And three things I didn't.
1. Write my debate that's due tomorrow afternoon.
2. Prepare the lecture I'm giving tomorrow night.
3. Get my oil changed.
Check this out:
1. Bought Easter shoes.
2. Had dinner with a friend. Twice. Two different friends.
3. Slept 12 hours Saturday night.
4. Discovered a yummy new summer drink at Starbucks.
5. Rested on Sabbath.
And three things I didn't.
1. Write my debate that's due tomorrow afternoon.
2. Prepare the lecture I'm giving tomorrow night.
3. Get my oil changed.
Check this out:
The One About Me Being Right
Back in September I told a friend, "I wish I could fast forward six months. I know in six months I won't feel this way." That was seven months ago. I was right!! If there is one thing I know how to do, it's how to let God heal me and move on. Even in moments of crazy my-life-is-insane-and-upside-down pain, I know I'm going to be ok.
I offer a few reasons why I know this:
1. History tells me so. My own history.
2. The people who love me tell me so.
3. I tell myself so.
4. The Bible tells me so. Romans 8:28. And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. Because I've made mistakes, I want to allow God to redeem those in me and let them be used for good. Several weeks ago, I got a random request to talk with someone I don't really know that well because he was struggling and knew I had been in his shoes. He wanted to talk about his junk, and I wanted to let God use my junk...so we talked. I had to pull back the veil on some of the junk in my past so this person would know I had the authority to say the things I was saying. That was tough. But God used it.
I love what happens at the end of Genesis 50. Joseph tells his brothers - you intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. Sometimes people don't intend to harm us, but they do. Sometimes we don't intend to harm others, but we do. Sometimes we don't intend to harm ourselves...but we do. Whichever way it goes down, God can use it for good. The hard part is not knowing how He's going to use it. The beauty is knowing He will, and seeing when He does!
I offer a few reasons why I know this:
1. History tells me so. My own history.
2. The people who love me tell me so.
3. I tell myself so.
4. The Bible tells me so. Romans 8:28. And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. Because I've made mistakes, I want to allow God to redeem those in me and let them be used for good. Several weeks ago, I got a random request to talk with someone I don't really know that well because he was struggling and knew I had been in his shoes. He wanted to talk about his junk, and I wanted to let God use my junk...so we talked. I had to pull back the veil on some of the junk in my past so this person would know I had the authority to say the things I was saying. That was tough. But God used it.
I love what happens at the end of Genesis 50. Joseph tells his brothers - you intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. Sometimes people don't intend to harm us, but they do. Sometimes we don't intend to harm others, but we do. Sometimes we don't intend to harm ourselves...but we do. Whichever way it goes down, God can use it for good. The hard part is not knowing how He's going to use it. The beauty is knowing He will, and seeing when He does!
Saturday, March 26, 2011
The One About the New Series
So we are starting a new series on Sunday - Thrive.
This is the first time Allison and I have partnered on a creative project...we brainstormed it and talked about it for several weeks...and the end result was we were pleased but we both agreed, "we can do WAY better." Here's a pic of a design we made for the welcome center.
The series is about ways we can thrive as leaders in the church. The welcome center display consists of about thirty jars filled with dirt and fake flowers hung from the ceiling. The graphic we printed on our large plotter printer and mounted it on cardboard that we ripped and shredded to look worn (instead of the normal black art board that we use for mounting). We hung everything with thin pieces of rope.
In the Sanctuary stage right, we hung large pink letters that say Thrive, along with some three-dimensional flower pots underneath. For those we used cardboard, flower pots that we cut in half, and acrylic paint. For stage left, we made a 4x4 ft. 3D box of the graphic shown above. We used a giant sunflower, metal letters, potting soil and a large garden box that we sweet-talked a guy at home depot into selling us for $10 off (it was a display). More pics of that stuff to come.
Final touches were adding some more stage lights and changing out the lighting gels to green.
We kept pep talking ourselves along the way that we could do this, and that we could do it on the cheap and be resourceful. We did well...we picked up things at the Genesis center, the cardboard we used comes packed in shipments from our printer as filler to keep things from moving around, and we used tons of paint and glue that we already had...and most of the things we did have to purchase, we will be able to use later.
We are looking into exciting new ways to work with coroplast. More on that to come too.
This is the first time Allison and I have partnered on a creative project...we brainstormed it and talked about it for several weeks...and the end result was we were pleased but we both agreed, "we can do WAY better." Here's a pic of a design we made for the welcome center.
The series is about ways we can thrive as leaders in the church. The welcome center display consists of about thirty jars filled with dirt and fake flowers hung from the ceiling. The graphic we printed on our large plotter printer and mounted it on cardboard that we ripped and shredded to look worn (instead of the normal black art board that we use for mounting). We hung everything with thin pieces of rope.
In the Sanctuary stage right, we hung large pink letters that say Thrive, along with some three-dimensional flower pots underneath. For those we used cardboard, flower pots that we cut in half, and acrylic paint. For stage left, we made a 4x4 ft. 3D box of the graphic shown above. We used a giant sunflower, metal letters, potting soil and a large garden box that we sweet-talked a guy at home depot into selling us for $10 off (it was a display). More pics of that stuff to come.
Final touches were adding some more stage lights and changing out the lighting gels to green.
We kept pep talking ourselves along the way that we could do this, and that we could do it on the cheap and be resourceful. We did well...we picked up things at the Genesis center, the cardboard we used comes packed in shipments from our printer as filler to keep things from moving around, and we used tons of paint and glue that we already had...and most of the things we did have to purchase, we will be able to use later.
We are looking into exciting new ways to work with coroplast. More on that to come too.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
The One About Turning 33
OR - The One About Things I Don't Do Now That I'm 33
32 needed a makeover. Badly. Today, although it is my birthday, isn't really a turning point, but it makes a good benchmark - something like, I wasn't stupid anymore after I turned 33. Yeah, that sounds good!
1. I don't do drama. My life is drama-free these days, and I love it that way. I've learned how to see drama when it's coming, and how to side-step it. Life is quiet.
2. I don't text and drive. I find it almost impossible. For my own safety (and the safety of others) I've almost stopped completely. (I do still talk and drive...I'm not THAT old).
3. I don't eat sugar or fried food. Ok, that one's not true, but I really wish it was. I'm eating a bag of cinnamon bears right now. But I really don't eat much fried stuff.
4. I don't Facebook, and I don't Twitter. Ok, that's not true either, but I'm thinking very seriously of giving them up. They don't add any real value to my life. I'm all for community and such, but I don't like how time consuming social media is. I do occasionally get info about music and events and such off the Twitter, but I'm not sure it's enough. Yesterday was a BEAUTIFUL day and I remembered what it was like to enjoy being outside, good music, and...well...skipping class. And I kept singing this song by Hank Jr (I'm For Love):
The cities against the county, The county's against the state
The state is against the government, And the highways still ain’t paved
The banker’s against the farmer, The farmer’s against the wall,
Doctors against me smoking, And the devil's against us all
But I’m for love and I’m for happiness
And I’m for “if you don’t like it can’t you just let it pass.”
And I’m for turning off the tube and turning down the lights
‘Cause I’m for nothing else but me and you tonight
Ok, the lyrics don't fit that well, but I like the song and I've been singing it.
32 needed a makeover. Badly. Today, although it is my birthday, isn't really a turning point, but it makes a good benchmark - something like, I wasn't stupid anymore after I turned 33. Yeah, that sounds good!
1. I don't do drama. My life is drama-free these days, and I love it that way. I've learned how to see drama when it's coming, and how to side-step it. Life is quiet.
2. I don't text and drive. I find it almost impossible. For my own safety (and the safety of others) I've almost stopped completely. (I do still talk and drive...I'm not THAT old).
3. I don't eat sugar or fried food. Ok, that one's not true, but I really wish it was. I'm eating a bag of cinnamon bears right now. But I really don't eat much fried stuff.
4. I don't Facebook, and I don't Twitter. Ok, that's not true either, but I'm thinking very seriously of giving them up. They don't add any real value to my life. I'm all for community and such, but I don't like how time consuming social media is. I do occasionally get info about music and events and such off the Twitter, but I'm not sure it's enough. Yesterday was a BEAUTIFUL day and I remembered what it was like to enjoy being outside, good music, and...well...skipping class. And I kept singing this song by Hank Jr (I'm For Love):
The cities against the county, The county's against the state
The state is against the government, And the highways still ain’t paved
The banker’s against the farmer, The farmer’s against the wall,
Doctors against me smoking, And the devil's against us all
But I’m for love and I’m for happiness
And I’m for “if you don’t like it can’t you just let it pass.”
And I’m for turning off the tube and turning down the lights
‘Cause I’m for nothing else but me and you tonight
Ok, the lyrics don't fit that well, but I like the song and I've been singing it.
Monday, March 21, 2011
The One About the Apps I Use
Jon Acuff wanted to know, so I thought I would share what apps I am using.
1. PCO - Planning Center Online (worship prep)
2. Pulse (organize blogs I like to read)*fave
3. YouVersion (Bible)
4. 2Do (keeping my boss organized)
5. Penultimate (notetaker)
6. Instagram (photo app)
Others I like but not in my top six:
GoodReader, Facebook, Twitter, AIM, Wells Fargo, Kindle, Flixster, The Weather Channel, SongSuggest.
Ones that didn't work out:
1. Things (to do list)
2. ProRemote (for running ProPresenter in the Sanctuary)
3. Hipstamatic (photo app)
4. Bump
5. Worship Central
There. I blogged about technology. Now you know what apps I'm using. If Acuff stumbles across my blog, then he'll know too.
1. PCO - Planning Center Online (worship prep)
2. Pulse (organize blogs I like to read)*fave
3. YouVersion (Bible)
4. 2Do (keeping my boss organized)
5. Penultimate (notetaker)
6. Instagram (photo app)
Others I like but not in my top six:
GoodReader, Facebook, Twitter, AIM, Wells Fargo, Kindle, Flixster, The Weather Channel, SongSuggest.
Ones that didn't work out:
1. Things (to do list)
2. ProRemote (for running ProPresenter in the Sanctuary)
3. Hipstamatic (photo app)
4. Bump
5. Worship Central
There. I blogged about technology. Now you know what apps I'm using. If Acuff stumbles across my blog, then he'll know too.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
The One About the Trip Home
Once we left Chicago, G and I were ready to be home. We stopped in St. Louis to spend the night, and then we planned to drive home from there on Friday morning. I thought we'd be home around 9pm.
Did I already mention the toothache I had on the previous Saturday when we were driving to Wisconsin? This is important here...so my tooth started hurting. A tooth that needs a crown that I keep putting off. I didn't want to go to a dentist in Wisconsin, so I called my dentist back in TX and he called me in some antibiotics and...pain reliever.
Fast forward a week.
I had laid off the pain relievers, but I took the antibiotics faithfully every day. Woke up Friday morning, took my two pills and we went down to breakfast. Gav and I are sitting there eating, and I'm looking out the window...as I turn my head, I feel like it is turning in slow motion and I'm starting to feel like Beetle Juice. (I haven't seen this movie in 20 years or more, but you know what I'm saying. My head felt ridiculously out of proportion to the rest of my body). I was seriously thinking what in the world is going on?? Is this what it feels like to have a stroke? Do you know you're having an aneurysm when you have one? Then I saw in my mind the two pills in my hand before I took them. They were white. They should have been green. Ohmylife, I took TWO 500mg hydrocodone before we were about to make an 11 hour drive! Ridiculous. So we went back to our room and I laid down until check out time. I let AW know about the ridiculousness, and she kept tabs on me all day as we made our way back.
I've been worn out...slept as much as I could yesterday and today, and finally starting to feel normal again.
I tweeted about this when I got home Friday night and @hydrocodonehelp started following me. I blocked them.
Woke up Saturday morning (in my own bed!) and my eye was halfway swollen shut. Weird. No clue. Looked like a bug bite. It's better now.
Strange things happen to me.
We had a WONDERFUL trip seeing friends we ADORE. Loved Chicago. I will probably NEVER drive there again.
Did I already mention the toothache I had on the previous Saturday when we were driving to Wisconsin? This is important here...so my tooth started hurting. A tooth that needs a crown that I keep putting off. I didn't want to go to a dentist in Wisconsin, so I called my dentist back in TX and he called me in some antibiotics and...pain reliever.
Fast forward a week.
I had laid off the pain relievers, but I took the antibiotics faithfully every day. Woke up Friday morning, took my two pills and we went down to breakfast. Gav and I are sitting there eating, and I'm looking out the window...as I turn my head, I feel like it is turning in slow motion and I'm starting to feel like Beetle Juice. (I haven't seen this movie in 20 years or more, but you know what I'm saying. My head felt ridiculously out of proportion to the rest of my body). I was seriously thinking what in the world is going on?? Is this what it feels like to have a stroke? Do you know you're having an aneurysm when you have one? Then I saw in my mind the two pills in my hand before I took them. They were white. They should have been green. Ohmylife, I took TWO 500mg hydrocodone before we were about to make an 11 hour drive! Ridiculous. So we went back to our room and I laid down until check out time. I let AW know about the ridiculousness, and she kept tabs on me all day as we made our way back.
I've been worn out...slept as much as I could yesterday and today, and finally starting to feel normal again.
I tweeted about this when I got home Friday night and @hydrocodonehelp started following me. I blocked them.
Woke up Saturday morning (in my own bed!) and my eye was halfway swollen shut. Weird. No clue. Looked like a bug bite. It's better now.
Strange things happen to me.
We had a WONDERFUL trip seeing friends we ADORE. Loved Chicago. I will probably NEVER drive there again.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
The One About the Seventh Day of Spring Break
Today, we finally found the Museum of Science & Industry. In a word: AWESOME. Gavin loved it. We didn't get to stay as long as we would have liked, but about the time we left, the place was flooded with school groups. G has already asked when we can go back. I was surprised to see that of all the exhibits and things to see and interact with, he liked the weather/science section best. He LOVED it. We had such a great time.
Gavin checking out a simulated tornado.
Me and G.
Me & Cindy Lou.
G at the baby chick exhibit.
Chicago was fun, I was really scared of going there on my own. From now on, I think I'll call that city SHEcago - since I conquered it! Relieved to be a little closer to home...spending the night in St. Louis.
Lots of driving, lots of time thinking, singing and praying. Good things to come.
The One About the Sixth Day of Spring Break
Yesterday was a great first day in Chicago. We drove around for an hour looking for the Museum of Science & Industry, gave up and checked into our hotel. After unloading, we visited the John Hancock Observatory.
Then, we did a little shopping...
And finally, had a great dinner...
That pizza was delish. I'm pretty sure I've gained 10 pounds.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
The One About the Fifth Day of Spring Break
We didn't do anything today, and I loved it. We didn't even leave the house. I did, however, take a shower.
I'm sitting in Cindy & Bub's bedroom, on their floor - looking out at their backyard. Here's a pic:
I've seen pics of it in summer...that is a beautiful greenbelt, you just can't tell right now. It's still really serene for me. You might think its weird that I'm sitting in their bedroom, but I had to plug my laptop into their...um...modem? Router? What's the right word, here? I'm not sure...I have someone in charge of electronicals in my life. I don't know the right words for these things...Anyway, we tried unsuccessfully last night to crack their password to get on wirelessly, which leads me to being connected the old-fashioned way. The box thingy is in their bedroom.
I love these people. It has been a great time here. We've talked about life, ministry, love, people, relationships, pain, forgiveness, repentance...just to name a few. Our kids have played great together. We've rested a lot, slept late, taken naps...It has really been great.
Tomorrow, we leave to two days in Chicago. I'm stoked, to put it mildly. I'm also nervous. I'm a country mouse.
I'm sitting in Cindy & Bub's bedroom, on their floor - looking out at their backyard. Here's a pic:
I've seen pics of it in summer...that is a beautiful greenbelt, you just can't tell right now. It's still really serene for me. You might think its weird that I'm sitting in their bedroom, but I had to plug my laptop into their...um...modem? Router? What's the right word, here? I'm not sure...I have someone in charge of electronicals in my life. I don't know the right words for these things...Anyway, we tried unsuccessfully last night to crack their password to get on wirelessly, which leads me to being connected the old-fashioned way. The box thingy is in their bedroom.
I love these people. It has been a great time here. We've talked about life, ministry, love, people, relationships, pain, forgiveness, repentance...just to name a few. Our kids have played great together. We've rested a lot, slept late, taken naps...It has really been great.
Tomorrow, we leave to two days in Chicago. I'm stoked, to put it mildly. I'm also nervous. I'm a country mouse.
The One About the Fourth Day of Spring Break
Yesterday we took the kids to Monkey Joe's. It's and indoor bounce house place. For $8 each, the kids played for about five hours while the grown-ups sat and talked. Ingenious! Gav woke up talking about it today and wants to go back.
Last night for dinner Bubs grilled us some chicken, and made broccoli and mashed potatoes. Then he made me a birthday cake. Good, good times.
Last night for dinner Bubs grilled us some chicken, and made broccoli and mashed potatoes. Then he made me a birthday cake. Good, good times.
Monday, March 14, 2011
The One About the Third Day of Spring Break
Yesterday we were able to attend church where my friends are on staff. Hearing my old friend preach and talking ministry with he and his wife has been so fun. We have done ministry most of our adult lives and it is funny to see how we have changed over the years. He called me a liberal yesterday! But he is too, so that's ok.
I had just about the best Sunday nap ever. I think that's what happens when you confuse antibiotics and pain reliever. I had to have my dentist call in a prescription for both when we got here. I have a tooth situation.
Last night we took the kids to Chuck E. Cheese and they had a great time.
I had just about the best Sunday nap ever. I think that's what happens when you confuse antibiotics and pain reliever. I had to have my dentist call in a prescription for both when we got here. I have a tooth situation.
Last night we took the kids to Chuck E. Cheese and they had a great time.
The One About The Second Day of Spring Break
We visited St. Louis Saturday. We tried to go to the top of the arch, but there was a four hour wait. We are going to hit it up on the way home. Here's a pic.
We finally made it around 6:30pm to our destination. So fun seeing our old friends.
We finally made it around 6:30pm to our destination. So fun seeing our old friends.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
The One About the First Day of Spring Break
We woke up in Springfield. I'm still tired. We slept good, but G$ woke up early.
It's been a long time since I've been through Oklahoma. G$ asked me if I like Texas or Oklahoma better. I just stared at him. That got me thinking about why we think everything is better in Texas.
1. Because it has that cool shape that everyone knows is Texas. If you saw the shape of Missouri, would you know it was Missouri? No, but I do believe that most people recognize TX!
2. All the way across OK, we saw and smelled smoke. I asked someone about it, and she said they've had a lot of grass fires. So there's that. Texas isn't on fire. In a good way.
3. We have nice rest stops. G$ and I have a strict policy about stopping to potty when we travel. Unless we need gas, we stop at rest stops. We spend less money that way.
4. And I don't know why else we think TX is better, but most of us do.
Traffic was great on the way here. 90% of the time, we were on cruise control and just enjoyed the drive. We are heading out soon, possibly stopping at the arch today in St. Louis. All I've seen so far of Missouri has been in the dark.
It's been a long time since I've been through Oklahoma. G$ asked me if I like Texas or Oklahoma better. I just stared at him. That got me thinking about why we think everything is better in Texas.
1. Because it has that cool shape that everyone knows is Texas. If you saw the shape of Missouri, would you know it was Missouri? No, but I do believe that most people recognize TX!
2. All the way across OK, we saw and smelled smoke. I asked someone about it, and she said they've had a lot of grass fires. So there's that. Texas isn't on fire. In a good way.
3. We have nice rest stops. G$ and I have a strict policy about stopping to potty when we travel. Unless we need gas, we stop at rest stops. We spend less money that way.
4. And I don't know why else we think TX is better, but most of us do.
Traffic was great on the way here. 90% of the time, we were on cruise control and just enjoyed the drive. We are heading out soon, possibly stopping at the arch today in St. Louis. All I've seen so far of Missouri has been in the dark.
Monday, March 7, 2011
The One About Everything
I have a pet peeve. It's horrible and selfish, and I feel small for even saying it. I hate it when people send group messages via Facebook & I get everyone's response. I believe AW said this made me a "snob" and "rigid"...but I don't take offense to that. Hey, we all have our "thing," whatever it might be. I just hate getting an update from 18 different people that yes, they are indeed going to attend whoever's whatever, wherever it may be. It's unchristian, I know.
We leave on Friday for our spring break trip! Completely excited and overwhelmed thinking about what needs to be done to get ready.
Mid-term today. There is a 50/50 chance I passed it.
Completely jacked up about creative ideas for our series that begins on 3/27 called Thrive. Hopefully some video on that soon.
Easter plans are coming along and I have butterflies. Not that we are doing a huge production (in fact, we're toning it down), but that I love Easter, and I'm nervously looking forward to it.
We leave on Friday for our spring break trip! Completely excited and overwhelmed thinking about what needs to be done to get ready.
Mid-term today. There is a 50/50 chance I passed it.
Completely jacked up about creative ideas for our series that begins on 3/27 called Thrive. Hopefully some video on that soon.
Easter plans are coming along and I have butterflies. Not that we are doing a huge production (in fact, we're toning it down), but that I love Easter, and I'm nervously looking forward to it.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
The One About Radicalis
Deep sigh. This always happens to me. I dig my heels in and end up feeling ridiculous.
It was decided at the office that some of the staff would watch Radicalis (a live webcast of a church conference in California) on the big screen in the Sanctuary. I knew it coming in to work on Tuesday. And I was grumpy about it. I felt like a four year old on the inside, and while I knew I was being ridiculous, I couldn't really stop it. I wanted to stomp my feet. I grumbled about how much stuff I had to do. I said snarky things (more so than usual). But I still set everything up, and was in my seat at the appointed time.
I sat down in my chair and was at first annoyed because instead of getting right to the speaking, there was 30 minutes of worship first. UGH, why was I so aggravated? I LOVE worship, and it was lead by Gungor, who I like. I fidgeted. I huffed. I looked at my iPad. This was bordering on an all-out tantrum.
That's when it happened. God punched me between the eyes. (That makes me laugh). It is probably better to describe it like this: Kay Warren came out and began to speak and I realized she was quite literally speaking directly to me. It was as if God was standing behind me with his hands on my shoulders. She said, "God is never ashamed of you, no matter what you've done." And while I know this, I needed someone with some authority to say it over me.
Ok, so God was still standing behind me, hands on my shoulders. I felt like he was saying, "See? I knew what you needed. Here you go. Now be still and listen." I felt all my anxiety easing out of me, and relaxed. I stopped worrying about the things that weren't getting done and realized God had a bigger appointment for me, and that I was in it. Kay said, "You need to know in the depth of your soul that you are God's beloved." Yes, yes I am. I sat there feeling silly about my fit, no matter how much I had internalized it...chin dropping toward my chest, hair falling in my face, because there were people sitting on both sides of me, and I was trying not to lose it. Sitting there trying to hide my feelings was silly too, because when it was over and we discussed it, my friends knew what I was feeling anyway.
It was a great week with Radicalis, dreaming up ideas, planning and looking forward. Was it any wonder that night in my daily Bible reading I read Mark 5, and the speaker the following morning preached out of Mark 5? No, it isn't any wonder.
It was decided at the office that some of the staff would watch Radicalis (a live webcast of a church conference in California) on the big screen in the Sanctuary. I knew it coming in to work on Tuesday. And I was grumpy about it. I felt like a four year old on the inside, and while I knew I was being ridiculous, I couldn't really stop it. I wanted to stomp my feet. I grumbled about how much stuff I had to do. I said snarky things (more so than usual). But I still set everything up, and was in my seat at the appointed time.
I sat down in my chair and was at first annoyed because instead of getting right to the speaking, there was 30 minutes of worship first. UGH, why was I so aggravated? I LOVE worship, and it was lead by Gungor, who I like. I fidgeted. I huffed. I looked at my iPad. This was bordering on an all-out tantrum.
That's when it happened. God punched me between the eyes. (That makes me laugh). It is probably better to describe it like this: Kay Warren came out and began to speak and I realized she was quite literally speaking directly to me. It was as if God was standing behind me with his hands on my shoulders. She said, "God is never ashamed of you, no matter what you've done." And while I know this, I needed someone with some authority to say it over me.
Ok, so God was still standing behind me, hands on my shoulders. I felt like he was saying, "See? I knew what you needed. Here you go. Now be still and listen." I felt all my anxiety easing out of me, and relaxed. I stopped worrying about the things that weren't getting done and realized God had a bigger appointment for me, and that I was in it. Kay said, "You need to know in the depth of your soul that you are God's beloved." Yes, yes I am. I sat there feeling silly about my fit, no matter how much I had internalized it...chin dropping toward my chest, hair falling in my face, because there were people sitting on both sides of me, and I was trying not to lose it. Sitting there trying to hide my feelings was silly too, because when it was over and we discussed it, my friends knew what I was feeling anyway.
It was a great week with Radicalis, dreaming up ideas, planning and looking forward. Was it any wonder that night in my daily Bible reading I read Mark 5, and the speaker the following morning preached out of Mark 5? No, it isn't any wonder.
The One About A Boring Saturday
It was a typical Saturday.
Five Things I Did Today:
1. Went to Upward (G$ scored 2).
2. Produced my first wedding at the church.
3. Bought new shoes.
4. Drank a pot of coffee.
5. Encouraged a friend.
And Three Things I Didn't:
1. Write my paper for Bioethics.
2. Do my reading assignment for British Lit.
3. Eat an entire meal. I'm starving.
Five Things I Did Today:
1. Went to Upward (G$ scored 2).
2. Produced my first wedding at the church.
3. Bought new shoes.
4. Drank a pot of coffee.
5. Encouraged a friend.
And Three Things I Didn't:
1. Write my paper for Bioethics.
2. Do my reading assignment for British Lit.
3. Eat an entire meal. I'm starving.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
The One About Valentine's Day
I didn't want to blog about V-Day right away, lest I seem bitter (which I am) or cynical (which I also am). But here it is. The top five reasons I think Valentine's Day is dumb, plus a little bit of other stuff.
5. It's a commercial holiday. I feel the same way about Mother's Day. It's made up. It's lame. Let's celebrate in July or August. That would be more...creative?
4. It's predictable. Flowers. Candy. Dinner. (Can I say that, since I'm the only one who knows I gave Gavin Hershey's kisses and a teddy bear?) Get outside the box, people. A new pair of heels. Some new makeup. A new car.
3. It's a let-down. I don't like knowing a surprise is coming, or to expect something special to happen. Maybe I just set my expectations too high.
2. It alienates people. See Mother's Day.
1. It's dumb because I said so.
And there you go! But really...who doesn't love Love and being in love? In reading a book recently, I got to thinking about that soft line between being friends and being in love. Falling in love with the person who you know is your best friend in the whole world is a great feeling. I'm thankful to have felt it. Trust and love and friendship are worth celebrating, even if the whole world is doing it by the calendar.
I Corinthians 13:13
Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.
5. It's a commercial holiday. I feel the same way about Mother's Day. It's made up. It's lame. Let's celebrate in July or August. That would be more...creative?
4. It's predictable. Flowers. Candy. Dinner. (Can I say that, since I'm the only one who knows I gave Gavin Hershey's kisses and a teddy bear?) Get outside the box, people. A new pair of heels. Some new makeup. A new car.
3. It's a let-down. I don't like knowing a surprise is coming, or to expect something special to happen. Maybe I just set my expectations too high.
2. It alienates people. See Mother's Day.
1. It's dumb because I said so.
And there you go! But really...who doesn't love Love and being in love? In reading a book recently, I got to thinking about that soft line between being friends and being in love. Falling in love with the person who you know is your best friend in the whole world is a great feeling. I'm thankful to have felt it. Trust and love and friendship are worth celebrating, even if the whole world is doing it by the calendar.
I Corinthians 13:13
Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.
Ten Things I Did Not Do Yesterday
Because, as you know, I like to make lists.
10. Wash my hair.
9. Take a shower.
8. Expect to admit 10 and especially 9 on the world-wide internet machine.
7. Eat well. I said I was going to, but I didn't. #Whataburger.
6. Get my eyebrows waxed.
5. Yell at my kid.
4. Pay attention in Bioethics.
3. Stop talking in British Lit. (Yes, I am that girl. I love talking about the books so much, I don't realize everyone is whipped until we have a break, and I hear someone say, "I hate this.")
2. Expect to hear from an old friend (which I did) or expect to hear back from another old friend (which I didn't).
1. Go to bed at a decent hour.
10. Wash my hair.
9. Take a shower.
8. Expect to admit 10 and especially 9 on the world-wide internet machine.
7. Eat well. I said I was going to, but I didn't. #Whataburger.
6. Get my eyebrows waxed.
5. Yell at my kid.
4. Pay attention in Bioethics.
3. Stop talking in British Lit. (Yes, I am that girl. I love talking about the books so much, I don't realize everyone is whipped until we have a break, and I hear someone say, "I hate this.")
2. Expect to hear from an old friend (which I did) or expect to hear back from another old friend (which I didn't).
1. Go to bed at a decent hour.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Tony Nolan...??
When Tony Nolan popped up as the speaker at Winter Jam, his name was familiar. (As a brief aside, I did for a moment think, “Really? A guest speaker at a concert?” But that was me being sinful.) I googled him. I searched his face. I couldn’t place him. His testimony was not familiar either. Nothing but the name. He is, I guess, an evangelist? Driving in to Dallas this morning, I was still thinking about what he said on Friday night.
Here is the gist: He was promoting adoption through Holt International (something like the more-familiar-to-me Compassion International). He told the story of how his mother sold him for $200 when he was a baby. He was a troubled teen and his adopted father once told him he regretted spending the money. I thought he was pushy, witty, a bit hokey, and very engaging.
The pushy part came in the promotion of Holt Int’l. He, having two adopted children of his own, all but said you don’t love Jesus if you don’t adopt a child. He didn’t actually say that, but that’s what it felt like. I was torn between acting offended and adopting the first child I could find to prove how much I love God. I did neither.
Ah, but back to the gist: He said, “Satan is a HURT DEALER. You wanna talk about ‘hide you kids, hide yo wife?’ we need to hide er’rybody!” That made me lol. A lot. But then he said, “let me introduce you to the HURT HEALER” and that made me cry. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Why do I forget this? I didn’t even know I needed to be reminded. Then I noticed the lady on my left was crying too. I guess we all need to be reminded sometimes.
Sometimes, you get hurt and you carry it around a long time...then one day you realize you’re feeling whole again. And He reminds you why - because he is the Hurt Healer.
Psalm 147:3
He heals the brokenhearted, and bandages their wounds.
Indeed He does!
Saturday, February 19, 2011
This Good Day
My Gavin and I have had a great weekend. We went to WinterJam last evening at AAC. There is not much I love more than singing (Perhaps shouting in this case. Ok, and jumping.) with wreckless abandon to our Lord. And no one I like more to lead me in worship that DC*B. Gavin enjoyed himself, we became new fans of Chris August, and listened to his CD all day today. We stayed up late (11pm) having a snack and watching tv. The late night eating and tv was a treat for him and he very much enjoyed it.
This morning I woke up with a headache and so, super grumpy. Gavin woke me up no less than five times, and I finally snapped when he woke me to show me two fruit snacks melted together. I felt better once I was up, and my mood continued to improve once I saw how beautiful it was outside.
We went to Upward (he scored five points), washed the car where he kept saying, "this is so fun!" and came home. I cleaned the grill and fired it up to test it out. Gavin swept the garage and sorted laundry. We made lunch at home. We saw Gnomeo & Juliet, picked up some groceries, and had dinner back at the house. We loved our day.
This morning I woke up with a headache and so, super grumpy. Gavin woke me up no less than five times, and I finally snapped when he woke me to show me two fruit snacks melted together. I felt better once I was up, and my mood continued to improve once I saw how beautiful it was outside.
We went to Upward (he scored five points), washed the car where he kept saying, "this is so fun!" and came home. I cleaned the grill and fired it up to test it out. Gavin swept the garage and sorted laundry. We made lunch at home. We saw Gnomeo & Juliet, picked up some groceries, and had dinner back at the house. We loved our day.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Kay Lynn Loves Bubba
When I was in fourth grade, I attended a small private school in Palmer, Texas. One day at the beginning of school, I was called to the principle's office. I trembled in the presence of authority (back then). I was a rule follower, plain and simple.
It would seem someone had written "Kay Lynn loves Bubba" on the bathroom wall. Naturally, the first assumption would be that I was the one who had done the writing, and while it is true that I did indeed 'love Bubba,' I was not the one who had committed this act of graffiti. It was a small school and before the morning was over, almost every girl had seen what was written on the bathroom wall. I. Was. Mortified.
Even though I knew I was innocent, there was still that shadow of suspicion over me. That was a heavy burden, knowing I was telling the truth, but also knowing everyone didn't fully believe me. Before the end of the day, for whatever reason, someone confessed. It was my best friend Sarah. She admitted to writing it on the wall out of jealousy. She cried and apologized, and I told her it was ok, I wasn't mad, that we were still friends.
And that is the first time I ever remember forgiving someone.
Forgiveness is a beautiful thing. I have forgiven much since then, and definitely had much forgiven me. Sometimes its easy. Sometime its hard. Sometimes I do it in spite of myself. The worse things to forgive are the ones you have to do over and over, when you look down and realize, "Oh, I've picked that up again," and you have to very deliberately begin new. I realized Wednesday there were some things I had stopped carrying around. What a great feeling.
It would seem someone had written "Kay Lynn loves Bubba" on the bathroom wall. Naturally, the first assumption would be that I was the one who had done the writing, and while it is true that I did indeed 'love Bubba,' I was not the one who had committed this act of graffiti. It was a small school and before the morning was over, almost every girl had seen what was written on the bathroom wall. I. Was. Mortified.
Even though I knew I was innocent, there was still that shadow of suspicion over me. That was a heavy burden, knowing I was telling the truth, but also knowing everyone didn't fully believe me. Before the end of the day, for whatever reason, someone confessed. It was my best friend Sarah. She admitted to writing it on the wall out of jealousy. She cried and apologized, and I told her it was ok, I wasn't mad, that we were still friends.
And that is the first time I ever remember forgiving someone.
Forgiveness is a beautiful thing. I have forgiven much since then, and definitely had much forgiven me. Sometimes its easy. Sometime its hard. Sometimes I do it in spite of myself. The worse things to forgive are the ones you have to do over and over, when you look down and realize, "Oh, I've picked that up again," and you have to very deliberately begin new. I realized Wednesday there were some things I had stopped carrying around. What a great feeling.
Monday, February 7, 2011
All Things Random
I'm behind. I'm behind on writing. I'm behind on music. I'm behind on planning at work. I'm behind on reading the three (four?) books I'm trying to get through.
Things are weird. Nikki's leaving. New people coming in.
School is going great, and the last three Mondays I have come home feeling like I learned something. And I don't want to die like I did last semester. Instead of going three days a week, all my classes are on Monday. We have a new lease on life.
Facing challenges in Arts Ministry and loving every minute of it. And I keep staring at the note on my desk that says "My ministry is the product of my relationship with Christ." John 15:4-5, Colossians 3:16-17. I sit down, I read it, and I go, "yikes". But in a good way. Its motivational.
Missed G dreadfully today. Three ice/snow days last week followed by a weekend together had me looking around for him all day.
Things are weird. Nikki's leaving. New people coming in.
School is going great, and the last three Mondays I have come home feeling like I learned something. And I don't want to die like I did last semester. Instead of going three days a week, all my classes are on Monday. We have a new lease on life.
Facing challenges in Arts Ministry and loving every minute of it. And I keep staring at the note on my desk that says "My ministry is the product of my relationship with Christ." John 15:4-5, Colossians 3:16-17. I sit down, I read it, and I go, "yikes". But in a good way. Its motivational.
Missed G dreadfully today. Three ice/snow days last week followed by a weekend together had me looking around for him all day.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
On Jesus and Stuff
I read a lot of blogs. Mostly through Pulse, my favorite app for iPad. I read them to stay up to date on technology, music, arts and such, but mostly, I read them looking for inspiration. I love having "Aha!" moments, like I did when I read this: http://www.blainehogan.com/post/1425158676/landing-planes
But lately I've noticed what feels like people saying things so for sure and certain, that I wonder what makes a person an "authority" on something. When does someone become and expert? Can all the Ph.D.s in the world make you an expert on Jesus? Do we have it all figured out? Or do we just sound like we think we do?
I'm asking myself these questions tonight: what did Jesus' type of forgiveness look like? Was it, "I forgive you but I'm never gonna look at you again?" Was it, "I forgive you, but I'm going to remind you of it every five minutes?" What does Jesus' grace look like? What does his compassion look like? I think I know what it would look and feel like, and I hope I can emulate that, but I know I often don't. Let me not speak with such authority that I sound like I'm not still a sinner.
I ain't no better than anyone else.
But lately I've noticed what feels like people saying things so for sure and certain, that I wonder what makes a person an "authority" on something. When does someone become and expert? Can all the Ph.D.s in the world make you an expert on Jesus? Do we have it all figured out? Or do we just sound like we think we do?
I'm asking myself these questions tonight: what did Jesus' type of forgiveness look like? Was it, "I forgive you but I'm never gonna look at you again?" Was it, "I forgive you, but I'm going to remind you of it every five minutes?" What does Jesus' grace look like? What does his compassion look like? I think I know what it would look and feel like, and I hope I can emulate that, but I know I often don't. Let me not speak with such authority that I sound like I'm not still a sinner.
I ain't no better than anyone else.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
2011 Music So Far
I don't blog or tweet every album I buy, but music feels good so far this year. What I'm listening to right now:
Brandon Heath - Leaving Eden (The Light In Me, It's Alright, It's No Good to Be Alone)
Brandon Heath - Leaving Eden (The Light In Me, It's Alright, It's No Good to Be Alone)
Kristian Stanfill - Mountains Move (Lord Almighty, Day After Day, Say, Say...ok, the whole thing).
And this album is from last summer, but it has the perfect song for our Sabbath series:
Audrey Assad - The House You're Building (Restless, Run Forward)
Restless
You dwell in the songs that we are singing
Rising to the Heavens, rising to Your heart, Your heart
Our praises filling up the spaces
In between and frailty and everything You are
You are the keeper of my heart
And I'm restless, I'm restless
'Til I rest in You, 'til I rest in You
I'm restless, I'm restless
'Til I rest in You, 'til I rest in You
Oh God, I wanna rest in You
Rising to the Heavens, rising to Your heart, Your heart
Our praises filling up the spaces
In between and frailty and everything You are
You are the keeper of my heart
And I'm restless, I'm restless
'Til I rest in You, 'til I rest in You
I'm restless, I'm restless
'Til I rest in You, 'til I rest in You
Oh God, I wanna rest in You
Oh, speak now for my soul is listening
Say that You have saved me, whisper in the dark
'Cause I know You're more than my salvation
Without You I am hopeless, tell me who You are
You are the keeper of my heart
You are the keeper of my heart
Still my heart hold me close
Let me hear a still small voice
Let it grow, let it rise
Into a shout, into a cry
Say that You have saved me, whisper in the dark
'Cause I know You're more than my salvation
Without You I am hopeless, tell me who You are
You are the keeper of my heart
You are the keeper of my heart
Still my heart hold me close
Let me hear a still small voice
Let it grow, let it rise
Into a shout, into a cry
Thursday, January 20, 2011
On Trust
I was thinking today about wise words from my friend Kim. She is a kind lady, full of grace and southern hospitality. She and I were talking before Christmas about a difficult time I was having trusting someone. I had a million reasons to never trust or believe anything this person would ever say, and Kim's advice: what if you decided to trust until your trust is broken again? Otherwise you will never break out of this cycle.
It seems so simple, and yet it shook me. I knew instantly she was right and it was a way to break out of the anger and resentment I was feeling for ever having my trust broken in the first place. I know other people who operate this way, and give the benefit of the doubt easier than I do. I'm not saying this will work for every situation of broken trust, and it does put a person at risk, but it worked in this situation and I broke out of the bondage I was feeling.
It seems so simple, and yet it shook me. I knew instantly she was right and it was a way to break out of the anger and resentment I was feeling for ever having my trust broken in the first place. I know other people who operate this way, and give the benefit of the doubt easier than I do. I'm not saying this will work for every situation of broken trust, and it does put a person at risk, but it worked in this situation and I broke out of the bondage I was feeling.
Daily Bible Reading
Which is worse? Knowing I need to do my Bible reading for the day and just not doing it? Or forgetting to read completely? I forgot. I knew it would happen eventually. Wednesday is a long day (in a good way) but that is no excuse. I usually do my reading for the day when I get in bed at night. Last night I was doing some reading and writing, but turned the light out and went to sleep. I didn't have another thought about my quiet time until this morning. Poo. Not only is my goal to read through the Bible in a year, I wanted to read it every day.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Holy Spirit
I am so excited about our new series. It's on the Holy Spirit. To a friend I once exclaimed, "I love the Holy Spirit!" and it made him laugh. But it's true. That we have this near side of God that is literally inside of us and all around us is amazing and exciting to me. This image of the Holy Spirit being the "near side of God" comes from Calvin Miller in Loving God Up Close. The HS makes God personal to me. He is literally right here; my friend, my comfort, my conviction, my counselor.
I like what Francis Chan said about understanding the HS. "The point is not to completely understand God but to worship him. Let the very fact that you cannot know him fully lead you to praise him for his infiniteness and grandeur." Whew. This Holy Spirit thing can be confusing. I love knowing I don't have to get it all. I'm not supposed to! There is so much of God that is mysterious and wonderful to me.
Sunday Pastor Brent preached about the wind of the HS. The wind is the soul of nature. I don't know that I will ever see leaves blowing or have the wind blow against me or see trees swaying and not think of the HS. Something we can't touch but we know it's there. I love that!
Sometimes the spirit comes as a rushing wind. Sometimes a breeze. Sometimes a whisper. In the words of Pastor Brent, we should welcome the spirit on any way it wants to come.
Its also fun and challenging to find the right songs for each week. Yesterday, we redid a Mercy Me song from 1998. Jimmy practically rewrote all the music for it because it was pretty cheesy. It turned out really well. We are having to go old school with a lot of the music to find Holy Spirit songs that the congregation will know, but there are also several new songs I have come across that will work well as specials. Excited.
I like what Francis Chan said about understanding the HS. "The point is not to completely understand God but to worship him. Let the very fact that you cannot know him fully lead you to praise him for his infiniteness and grandeur." Whew. This Holy Spirit thing can be confusing. I love knowing I don't have to get it all. I'm not supposed to! There is so much of God that is mysterious and wonderful to me.
Sunday Pastor Brent preached about the wind of the HS. The wind is the soul of nature. I don't know that I will ever see leaves blowing or have the wind blow against me or see trees swaying and not think of the HS. Something we can't touch but we know it's there. I love that!
Sometimes the spirit comes as a rushing wind. Sometimes a breeze. Sometimes a whisper. In the words of Pastor Brent, we should welcome the spirit on any way it wants to come.
Its also fun and challenging to find the right songs for each week. Yesterday, we redid a Mercy Me song from 1998. Jimmy practically rewrote all the music for it because it was pretty cheesy. It turned out really well. We are having to go old school with a lot of the music to find Holy Spirit songs that the congregation will know, but there are also several new songs I have come across that will work well as specials. Excited.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
I Wouldn't Call it a Bust
The first sabbath didn't last a full 24 hours, but I feel really good about the day. I slept until 10:30, then spent the better part of the morning and afternoon alternately snoozing and reading. Some people are against tv on Sabbath, but I watched a lot of Expedition Wild too.
We added a song to the worship set late in the week, and I forgot to load up the chart and mp3 so I had to run up to the church and do that. Someone else needed something as well, which ended in me cleaning out a popcorn machine. But I realized the spirit in which these things were done felt joyful. That is so much better than feeling like it's "my" day and being resentful about how I spent the time God gave me.
I think Sabbath days will be different (very) when Gavin is here. It will be a huge blessing for us. He loves quality time.
Not sure how today could have gone any better. I could bring home my laptop in the future. Then what took 15 minutes would have only taken 1. I can think about it more in advance, plan for it. Baby steps.
We added a song to the worship set late in the week, and I forgot to load up the chart and mp3 so I had to run up to the church and do that. Someone else needed something as well, which ended in me cleaning out a popcorn machine. But I realized the spirit in which these things were done felt joyful. That is so much better than feeling like it's "my" day and being resentful about how I spent the time God gave me.
I think Sabbath days will be different (very) when Gavin is here. It will be a huge blessing for us. He loves quality time.
Not sure how today could have gone any better. I could bring home my laptop in the future. Then what took 15 minutes would have only taken 1. I can think about it more in advance, plan for it. Baby steps.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Sabbath
We met with Emily Prevost in staff meeting this week to talk about our up-coming series on Sabbath. She has a Ph.D. and I have no idea how old she is but I loved her and thought she was so cute and felt like her mom.
As she unpacked this idea (commandment) of observing the Sabbath, I began to feel a little overwhelmed. Sabbath for me should be Monday, since that is my day off. But I realized right away that I will have six hours of school on Monday's beginning in a week. That doesn't feel very Sabbaticalish. I'm giving 9pm Friday through 9pm Saturday a trial run.
She had lots of ideas and guidelines and suggestions for how to observe this day without it being legalistic. I am going to try and get into the routine of it before we roll out the series. It's going to be hard. Sometime tomorrow I'm going to want to go get a diet coke from Sonic. And you know what that means. Exchanging money. Which is a no-no. The hard part is going to be making the guidelines and the conviction I will feel if I break them.
I don't have my notes with me right now, but the thing I came away with was: Sabbath doesn't just happen. We have to plan it. I'm looking forward to figuring this out.
I like the idea of starting Sabbath with a feast (tonight I started it with a large Diet Coke). And finding a special way to end it. And love the idea of sharing this with Gavin. There will be more on this.
As she unpacked this idea (commandment) of observing the Sabbath, I began to feel a little overwhelmed. Sabbath for me should be Monday, since that is my day off. But I realized right away that I will have six hours of school on Monday's beginning in a week. That doesn't feel very Sabbaticalish. I'm giving 9pm Friday through 9pm Saturday a trial run.
She had lots of ideas and guidelines and suggestions for how to observe this day without it being legalistic. I am going to try and get into the routine of it before we roll out the series. It's going to be hard. Sometime tomorrow I'm going to want to go get a diet coke from Sonic. And you know what that means. Exchanging money. Which is a no-no. The hard part is going to be making the guidelines and the conviction I will feel if I break them.
I don't have my notes with me right now, but the thing I came away with was: Sabbath doesn't just happen. We have to plan it. I'm looking forward to figuring this out.
I like the idea of starting Sabbath with a feast (tonight I started it with a large Diet Coke). And finding a special way to end it. And love the idea of sharing this with Gavin. There will be more on this.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
First Day of the New Year
Was the first day of the new year supposed to be 1/11/11? It felt like to me the year finally got started today. I got back to work, and we started making plans for a great new series on the Holy Spirit. I'm so excited about it! The music is challenging, and we are stretching our minds with creative ideas...I'm thankful to be a part of such a wonderful team.
We welcomed a new staff member today, Wes Hill. That was odd, and who knew it would be such an emotional moment in church Sunday when the church voted him in and he accepted? We had looked for over a year to find him, and now his welcome has come and gone. He's official, I set his email up today!
Nikki came back to work, newly married, so that is different too. She's very happy, and all smiles.
New marriages, new staff, new series, new music. New beginnings. A God who makes all things new.
We welcomed a new staff member today, Wes Hill. That was odd, and who knew it would be such an emotional moment in church Sunday when the church voted him in and he accepted? We had looked for over a year to find him, and now his welcome has come and gone. He's official, I set his email up today!
Nikki came back to work, newly married, so that is different too. She's very happy, and all smiles.
New marriages, new staff, new series, new music. New beginnings. A God who makes all things new.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Snow Day 2011
Staff had lunch at the Pastor's house yesterday to welcome a new member to the team. As I was driving out there, it was already snowing. I don't have great tires, and we slid twice. When I got there, I texted Amy to see if they would come get G and me (their house was close, roads not as dangerous). So after lunch was over, she and KW picked us up. We had a fun evening just being with them. We really like packing up and staying with them whenever the opportunity comes along. G & Jeb got along great, played in the snow, made videos and camped out in the den. Good times.
I woke up grumpy today. Short tempered. Not sure why. When I feel this way, my prayer is just this: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control...over and over.
We are not equipped for snow in Texas. Maybe that was why I was grumpy. I thought it was beautiful and peaceful but messy and wet. Our clothes aren't right for it. Jeans get wet, and wearing wet jeans is a hell clip for me. Our gloves aren't right for it either. Most of them are knit. G notices none of this, or if he does, he doesn't care.
After last February's record 11 inches of snow, I've had to tell him several times that we probably won't ever see snow like that again. That it might not even snow at all this year. So much for that. Yesterday's snow was great. Lots of it, and it lasted, and he's had two days of playing in it. Today we put together a jigsaw puzzle, had a snowball fight and drank hot chocolate. What started out as a grumpy day is ending very nicely.
When we were out playing this evening, it started snowing again. Small flakes, as opposed to yesterday's giant ones...and it was so quite and peaceful. When I think of the "Peace of Christmas" I always think of snow...when Jeff Berry was with us several weeks ago, he and Julie sang this song:
But You came like a winter snow
Quiet and soft and slow
Falling from the sky in the night
To the earth below
You could've swept in like a tidal wave
Or in an ocean to ravish our hearts
You could've come through like a roaring flood
To wipe away the things we've scarred
Oh oh but You came like a winter snow
You were quiet You were soft and slow
Falling from the sky in the night
To the earth below
Beautiful. Maybe my favorite song of Christmas. I'm singing it tonight.
I woke up grumpy today. Short tempered. Not sure why. When I feel this way, my prayer is just this: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control...over and over.
We are not equipped for snow in Texas. Maybe that was why I was grumpy. I thought it was beautiful and peaceful but messy and wet. Our clothes aren't right for it. Jeans get wet, and wearing wet jeans is a hell clip for me. Our gloves aren't right for it either. Most of them are knit. G notices none of this, or if he does, he doesn't care.
When we were out playing this evening, it started snowing again. Small flakes, as opposed to yesterday's giant ones...and it was so quite and peaceful. When I think of the "Peace of Christmas" I always think of snow...when Jeff Berry was with us several weeks ago, he and Julie sang this song:
You could've come like a mighty storm
With all the strength of a hurricane
You could've come like a forest fire
With the power of heaven in Your flame
But You came like a winter snow
Quiet and soft and slow
Falling from the sky in the night
To the earth below
You could've swept in like a tidal wave
Or in an ocean to ravish our hearts
You could've come through like a roaring flood
To wipe away the things we've scarred
Oh oh but You came like a winter snow
You were quiet You were soft and slow
Falling from the sky in the night
To the earth below
Beautiful. Maybe my favorite song of Christmas. I'm singing it tonight.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
iHomes and Reading
I got an iHome for Christmas.
For over a year now, I haven't had anything beside my bed to tell me the time. If I wanted to know what time it was I had to look at my phone. Needless to say, it wasn't often I looked at my phone in the middle of the night to check it.
But I really wanted an iHome, mainly to play music (loud), and planned on buying one after Christmas was over. Instead, a friend gave me one for Christmas. Nice gift, right? I have great friends.
Weird thing. It is driving me semi-crazy at night. I can't stop looking at it. I look at the time all night now. And I wake up A LOT. It has four brightness settings. "Not very bright," "bright," and "land your helicopter here." Then my favorite one: off. You can turn off the backlight completely. But then when it's off, I still know the clock is there, and I can't resist the urge to put it on "not very bright" so I can see the time. It's like that scene from Castaway where Tom Hanks keeps flicking his flash light off and on to look at his picture of Helen Hunt. Obsessive.
It is the same experience I have when I'm supposed to be reading a book and it sits on my nightstand mocking me. I hate being behind on reading, and when I'm trying to get through a book I carry it with me everywhere in hopes of grabbing a minute or two of solitude. I am currently reading three books: my Bible, Sun Stand Still & Loving God Up Close. I am on day six of my read-through-the-Bible-in-a-year plan. I'm doing great so far and six days may not sound like much, but it's good for me. I'm the worst about procrastinating, and I talk myself out of things, thinking I will do them later (or is that the definition of procrastinating?). I didn't want to write (or tweet) anything about resolutions, so I guess I made one goal this year. Only one. Read through my Bible. I'm pleasantly surprised that giving it the attention in deserves keeps my Bible from mocking me.
Our virtue for Kidstuf for the month is determination: seeing it's worth it to finish what you started. How apropos.
For over a year now, I haven't had anything beside my bed to tell me the time. If I wanted to know what time it was I had to look at my phone. Needless to say, it wasn't often I looked at my phone in the middle of the night to check it.
But I really wanted an iHome, mainly to play music (loud), and planned on buying one after Christmas was over. Instead, a friend gave me one for Christmas. Nice gift, right? I have great friends.
Weird thing. It is driving me semi-crazy at night. I can't stop looking at it. I look at the time all night now. And I wake up A LOT. It has four brightness settings. "Not very bright," "bright," and "land your helicopter here." Then my favorite one: off. You can turn off the backlight completely. But then when it's off, I still know the clock is there, and I can't resist the urge to put it on "not very bright" so I can see the time. It's like that scene from Castaway where Tom Hanks keeps flicking his flash light off and on to look at his picture of Helen Hunt. Obsessive.
It is the same experience I have when I'm supposed to be reading a book and it sits on my nightstand mocking me. I hate being behind on reading, and when I'm trying to get through a book I carry it with me everywhere in hopes of grabbing a minute or two of solitude. I am currently reading three books: my Bible, Sun Stand Still & Loving God Up Close. I am on day six of my read-through-the-Bible-in-a-year plan. I'm doing great so far and six days may not sound like much, but it's good for me. I'm the worst about procrastinating, and I talk myself out of things, thinking I will do them later (or is that the definition of procrastinating?). I didn't want to write (or tweet) anything about resolutions, so I guess I made one goal this year. Only one. Read through my Bible. I'm pleasantly surprised that giving it the attention in deserves keeps my Bible from mocking me.
Our virtue for Kidstuf for the month is determination: seeing it's worth it to finish what you started. How apropos.
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